NME Top Fifty

This is worth a laugh.


GOOD, BAD
EDIT: I removed the shit I didn't write about, full list here

47 Wolfmother- Wolfmother

You have GOT to be kidding me! I almost wish that Wolfmother was some kind of weird joke, sometimes. This album is such recycled overhyped bullshit, something that you'll find quite often along the course of this list....

43 Beck- The Information

Despite the NME's apparent penchant for putting the shittiest buzz-rock albums of all time (much less of 2006) on lists, they got a few things right. This album seems a bit rushed to me, but it's Beck. Which means it's good. Damn good. And the interactive cover art is probably my favorite thing anyone's done with their physical album in a long time. Cool. I dunno where this would fall on my Top Albums 2006 list, but it would be a hell of a lot higher than this. Damn, we're only on the second commentary and I'm already pissed! Ah, onward...

38 Metric- Live It Out

I like Metric. Maybe even love Metric. But this album was weird for me. The guitars sound so...REAL! Metric, what happened!? I dunno if you've heard the far superior "Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?" but the guitar on that record is like the equivalent of what overproduction made drums sound like on every rock album released in the 80's. I dug it way more than I dug drum machines on rock records, though. I dunno if this would make my Top 2006 List, given that it would be a lot shorter than 50 albums. But, it would make my top 50, if I felt so inclined to make such a list. But I don't. So, sorry Metric.

37 Be Your Own Pet- Be Your Own Pet

I dunno about best of 2006, but I like this record because once you turn it on it doesn't stop fucking you in the ass until it's over like, half an hour later. I hope their live shows are exactly the same thing. I dig these guys (and girls!) a lot.

34 Albert Hammond Jr.- Yours To Keep

Shitty, decidedly generic rock album by that weird-looking dude in the Strokes that likes tacky suits and white stratocasters. Top 50, 2006? No.

33 The Bronx- The Bronx

I watched their music video at Mariah's house a couple nights ago and burst out laughing.

30 Cat Power- The Greatest

This is an interesting choice. I didn't like this much, but I dig Cat Power a lot. She reminds me of Feist, but not in a ripoff way like Regina Spektor. She's got her own bluesy thing going on here, and I like it. But I don't like it enough to justify putting it on my Tops. Which I have just decided will be 15 albums long, and will be posted in this blog entry. Also, I thought this came out in '05. Weird, time flies I guess.

29 The Spinto Band- Nice And Nicely Done

Not much to say here, but this was a good choice. Maybe a bit deep. But nice choice.

27 Clap Your Hands Say Yeah- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

This is one of my favorite records ever, probably. It's so fucking dirty. And not sexually. These guys are a real spin on real rock and roll. And they put on a hell of a live show. This deserves to be wayyyyy higher, definitely.

21 The Raconteurs- Broken Boy Soldiers

The Raconteurs are so fucking ridiculous that I almost feel like I don't have to write anything here. If I wanted to listed to boring, rejected White Stripes songs, I would buy the Seven Nation Army single or something. That's what this sounds like to me; White Stripes b-sides, without the grit that makes the White Stripes entertaining.

15 Thom Yorke- The Eraser

Shit man, people talk a lot of dirt about this record, but it sounds alright to me. This is so logical; it's like a sequel to Kid Amnesiac, but Thom put it out himself 'cause god knows Radiohead are getting too rock 'n' roll to put up with this. I'm obsessed with it though. It's a lot of electronics, but it's beautiful and human and really, really honest. Thom is just my favorite dude of all time.

13 Panic! At The Disco- A Fever You Can't Sweat Out

Oh, this shit can fuck RIGHT off. I feel like they do enough by themselves that I don't really have to rip on them, so I wont.

10 My Chemical Romance- The Black Parade

Do people actually like this band!? They're like, the most elaborate joke ever (I have to credit Alisa for that one). Ever since I stopped watching MTV, it seems really weird to me that people actually listen to this mainstream shit. I mean, I hate to sound like a snob, but commercial music is so dead right now that I can't even handle it. Damn.

8 The Strokes- First Impressions Of Earth

I love the Strokes, but they aren't ever gonna top "Is This It?" ever. The album is a fucking masterpiece, and they've been in a chronologically descending spiral since then. Not to take anything away from "Room On Fire." It was a good album. But ITI? is just impossible to top. Anyway, I don't like this record at all really. There are a couple good songs, but I don't like the new sounds they're getting. It would be a bit stupid to go back to lo-fi now that they're all rich and shit. I am just gonna have to face the fact that I'm never getting another good album out of the Strokes again, I guess.

6 Gnarls Barkley- St Elsewhere

If you know me, then you've heard me go crazy over this shit at least once. In a negative way, that is. I can't fucking stand this fucking band. Cee-Lo's voice is annoying. Danger Mouse, you need to hook back up with DOOM, 'cause shit. This is not cool. I shouldn't say that. That's exactly what this record is. It's hip, cool. Micheal put it best, I think; fake alternative hip hop for white people. I have a particular problem with the especially horrible cover of "Gone Daddy Gone." If you can't tell why I am offended by this song simply by listening to the original, than I don't want to be your friend.

5 CSS- Cansei De Ser Sexi

I'm pretty shocked by this. This kinda seems like NME wanking on its hip self. I'm not trying to dis on CSS or anything. They're hot on the dance front. But as an album, this is a pretty poor choice for the top ten, in my opinion. I'm not saying dance music can't be sonically beautiful or well crafted enough to deserve this spot (see the next album on the list for a perfect example). But this is a club record to me.

4 Hot Chip- The Warning

Beautiful, intelligent, talented, fun, impressive dance music. My favorite thing on this list in terms of placement. I guess NME can do one thing right.

2 Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Show Your Bones

A huge step forward musically for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. So why doesn't it belong on this list? Because it doesn't sound like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, it's overproduced, and the songwriting is less edgy. It bores me. Some songs are very good ("Cheated Hearts" in particular), but overall it's a disappointing sophomore album from one of the most promising young rock bands in the U.S.

1 Arctic Monkeys- Whatever People Say I Am, Thats What I'm Not

I'm not even going to say anything about this. O.K., well that's kind of already a lie. But I'm not gonna say much. This band actually deserves to be on this list, because NME is the fucking breast that feeds them. The only thing that could be a more fitting top to this ridiculous parade of mediocrity would be the as-of-yet unreleased Horrors album. Disgusting.

To set the record straight, when you make a "best of" list, you're gonna be scrutinized. It's harder than it looks. You can't please everyone all the time. But I mean...come on. Arctic Monkeys? And what about the albums missing from this list; Sunset Rubdown, the Blow, Clipse (O.K., that's a bit selfish of me. I'll save it for my own personal list), Subtitle, Cadence Weapon, Final Fantasy, Girl Talk...eugh. Enough bitching. Here's my list.


TOP 15 ALBUMS OF 2006, AS TOLD BY RYAN CARNEY

15: Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury

14: Islands - Return To The Sea
13: The Spinto Band - Nice And Nicely Done
12: Final Fantasy - He Poos Clouds
11: Girl Talk - Night Ripper
10: Subtitle - Terrain To Roam
09: Spank Rock - Yoyoyoyoyoyo
08: Thom Yorke - The Eraser
07: Tender Forever - The Soft And The Hardcore
06: Sunset Rubdown - Shut Up I Am Dreaming
05: Karl Blau - Beneath Waves
04: Cadence Weapon - Breaking Kayfabe
03: Hot Chip - The Warning
02: the Blow - Paper Television
01: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Yeah.

P.S. - Coincidentally, I had to remove that LCD SS track from the last post because the DFA fucking emailed me and asked me to. Damn man, I was just trying to spread the love! James Murphy I love you and I look forward to buying Sound Of Silver THE MINUTE IT COMES OUT. Seriously.

SOME LOUD THUNDER!

S-s-satan Said Dance

January 16th, ladies and gents; mark your calendars, for this is the day when you will be able to download Clap Your Hands Say Yeah's not-so-long-anticipated second album, "Some Loud Thunder." I'm so excited, you guys!
CYHSY have got to be like, my favorite buzz band of all time. And that should mean a lot coming from a buzz-band hater like me. But seriously, these guys are really good. They kind of remind me of the Strokes in a way (not musically), because they're fresh, they're hot, but they're old school. Their amazing first album (as in, top 10 of '05 amazing) reminds me of a wayyyyy hipper version of the Cure, kind of. But this shit is really gonna be off the hook, seriously. Go to their site right now and download the new stuff. So "Love Song No. 7" I'm not that fond of. But you never know. And I can tell that "Underwater" is gonna grow on me like a fucking weed. But seriously, go to their myspace and listen to "Satan Said Dance." It will change your outlook on shit. No fucking joke.

O.K, and how are we to forget that LCD Soundsystem leaked this week? I've heard almost every track, and you guys, this album is everything his s/t was, plus everything you wish it was. Really! It's that good! Here's the first single, probably.


REMOVED BY LCD SOUNDSYSTEM'S REQUEST

That's all I have, but expect full reviews of both of these when I get them, probably soon.